Three Tenors

	  		 
 
(Tenors warming up, same notes as above) 
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh 
 
Kermit: Scooter, Scooter!  Go and get The Three Tenors, 
they're on in two minutes. 
 
Scooter: (knocks)Two muinutes Mr Pavarot, er, Mr Plac, er Mr Tenors 
 
Placibo: Scooter, close the door.  Here, here, sit on my lap.  You furry four 
eyed munchkin!  I cannot resist you! 
 
Another Tenor: Placibo!  Not now.   
You can't leave him in a room with a puppet for one second! 
Ah, remember the Seseme Street incident. 
 
Scooter: Er, I'll just tell Kermit you're ready 
 
Kermit: It's The Muppet Show!  And here now on stage singing Aria Sixteen from Tossanini- 
 
Floyd: Ah, Kermit? 
 
K: Yeah Floyd? 
 
Floyd: We can't play this Oprah crap! 
 
K: Well what can you do? 
 
Floyd: Well I've got, all I've got is a Jewl song book. 
 
K: Jewl, oh, OK then. 
 
(Tenors stert to sing) 
 
A		     E 
   I've never met, a man-ah like-ah you before 
F#m			   C#m 
   You make me feel like a woman 
D			A			    Bm			   E 
   Oh and you touch my long blond hair, and read my poetry, the things you do to me 
      A		       E	      F#m	    A 
I'm a young attractive blond who sing country songs 
     D		      A			E 
To a lonesome country girl this city is tough 
     A		   C#m		F#m	     C#m	D 
It's all about the music, stop looking at my cleavage 
	A		   E				A 
Unlike Kasey Chambers I am pretty enough, I am pretty enough. 
(keep stumming A and D) 
Kermit, are we getting away with this? 
 
K: Absolutely! 
 
Old Heckler: Hey Stavler.  Why are there three fat men pretending to be a blond woman? 
 
Stavler: Ah, 'cause their fat?  Ha ha ha ha ha.  What? 
 
Miss Piggy: Hey, you can't sing about being blond!  There's only one blond on this show: Moi, 
Miss Piggy, that's right, Miss Piggy 
A		   E 
  I've never met a frog like you before 
F#m				    C#m 
  You made me feel like a pig slash woman 
D			A					   Bm 
  When you point your duel resolution I triple E 1 3 9 4 P C video camera at me 
     E 
It's extasy 
(keep stumming A and D) 
Tenor: Did he get a nice shot of your kankles? 
 
MP: What!? 
 
Tenor: You know, the fatty deposites between the foot an the calf. 
 
MP: WHAT?!! 
 
Tenor: You know, the wrinkley, bulbous, fatty, discusting- 
 
MP: Alright, that's it oprah boy, HI-YA! 
 
K:Oh no!  We've only got two tenors! 
 
MP: HI-YA! 
 
K: Oh we've only got one left! 
 
MP: HI-YA! 
 
K: We're all out of tenors!  We've gotta find someone with extensive 
experience working with puppets- 
 
Scod & Yon: C'mon Gatesy 
 
Gatesy: No no no, it was a long time ago 
 
Scod: Gatesy we know you can do it mate 
 
Gatesy: No no way it was a long time a-(sucks it in) 
 
Billabonga! 
A		      E		     F#m	 C#m 
  I'm a young magical swagman with a pet bunyip 
	  D		    A		   E 
If you've seen that show it was a bit of a farce 
      A		     E			F#m	C#m 
I was young I was in love I needed the money 
		   D		   A				E 
When you're in the public eye your past always bites you on the arse 
	  	 A______________ 
Bites you on the a___________rse