Tim Minchin

Rock And Roll Nerd

Tim Minchin

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by  JASPERM

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Rock And Roll Nerd

	  		Am  
Doesn't have a problem with drugs,  
                Dm  
He just doesn't do them,  
     G           
He's fine that his mates have tattoos,  
                        Am  
But he reckon's they'll rue them,  

Am 
He likes going to pubs, 
                                                   Dm 
But he hates it when the music's too loud, 
      G 
He tends not to go to rock concerts, 
                                         Am 
'Cause he can't stand the crowd 


    Dm                      G  
And all he's ever wanted to be  
     C            G/B     Am   C/G  
Is a rock star on RAGE or MTV,  
       Dm                       G  
But he knows that it's not very likely,  
              E  
He just turned thirty 

E                 Am  
   He will always be  

              G  
A rock'n'roll nerd,  
                   C                    C/E  
He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear,  
    Am                  C/E  
And though the won't be heard  
              Dm/F        Em 
He'll keep on writing, oh yeah,  

        D               Gm  
But you see the problem is  
          C7                F  
He always dreamt of being a star 
               A#7              Eb  
But he learnt piano instead of guitar,  
             D                            Gm  
Which in the nineties didn't get you very far,  
             C7                       F                       
So while the other kids were learning Stairway  
           A#7             Eb  
He was the piano to their forte,  
           D  
But he was convinced one day  
                        Eb  
He'd rock their fucking arses,  
         D                            Eb  
Or be an icon for the disenfranchised masses,  
         D                               Eb  
Grow his hair long and rebel against the state,  
        Eb                 F 
But for now that'd have to wait,  
                     D              G 
'Cause he's running late for his morning classes.  


               Am 
And he will always be 
                G 
A rock'n'roll nerd, 
                                C          C/E 
He'll keep playing gigs that no-one knows about, 
        Am                C 
And though it sounds absurd 
                Dm         Em 
He'll just keep playing, oh yeah, 

          D             Gm 
But you see the problem is 
          C7                            F 
There's not much depth in what he's singing, 
                        A#7                Eb 
He's a victim of his upper-middle class upbringing, 
                        D 
So he can't write about the 'hood, or bling-bling, 

Gm                      C7              F 
So he sits and imagines his girlfriend is dead 
        A#7                              Eb 
To try to evoke some angst in his middle class head, 
                        D 
But the bitch is always fine at half past nine when they 
        Gm 
Go to bed, 

                        C7               F 
He hasn't spent a single night in prison, 
         A#7            Eb 
He has no issues with nutrition, 
                            D               Eb 
He has no drinking problem and no drug addiction 
                      D                  Eb 
Unless you count the drugs they put in chicken, 
        D                               Eb 
Marijuana always tends to make him cough, 

                               F 
He doesn't look good with his t-shirt off, 
                    D 
And when he tries to act tough, you can tell he's 
G 
Tricking. 


Vocal riffing 
{C-D-A} 


          C 
While his mates all stay out late, 
        Eb              F 
Popping pills and havin fun, 
                  C 
He stays home and showers, 

And gets a good eight hours, 
            Eb                       F 
He gets his thrills from his morning run, 
          C 
While his mates all go on dates, 
              Eb                    F 
Taking speed and drinking cans of Jim Beam, 
                  C 
He stays home and cooks, 

And curls up with a book, 
                          Eb        F 
And the girl he's had since he was seventeen 

                         Gm 
'Cause he's never really been part of the scene, 
                              A#7 
While the other kids liked Gunners he liked Queen, 
                     C7 
He's more into Beatles than the Stones, 
                   Bb             c 
He's more Stevie Wonder than Ramones, 
                Gm 
And he never owned a panel van, 
                 A# 
He never shot a Sepultura fan, 
                                         C7 
He doesn't know the difference between metal and thrash, 
                         Eb                   F 
He couldn't tell you nothing about Axl and Slash, 
             Gm 
He likes Ben Folds and The Jackson Five, 
                             A#7 
He knows all the words to Stayin' Alive, 
                                  C7 
And though he wants to be all grungy and cool 

              Eb                 F 
He spent eleven years in motherf*ckr  private school, 

                        Gm 
So it doesn't matter how hard he tries, 
                   A#7 
He cannot hide behind his rock'n'roll lies, 
                       C7 
'Cause you've either got it or you don't, 
                       Eb          F 
Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't, 
                 Gm             A#7 
You've either got it or you don't, 
                   C7           F 
Yeah, you'll either rock it or you wont. 

C7/// Eb// F// D/Gb// E/Ab//  

Am 
He knows that his music lacks depth 
                              Dm 
But it just can't be helped 
            G 
He has nothing interesting to say 
                              Am 
So he writes about himself 
Am 
But he doesn't want to seem self-obsessed 
                              Dm 
So he writes in third person 
            G 
In an attempt to sound more rock n roll 
                              Am 
But he suspects it's not working 

    Dm                      G 
And deep in his heart he knows 
     C            C/E          Am 
he'll never be Bono, or Bowie 
    Dm                      G 
And even if he was quite pretty 
                                    E 
With small pants like Kylie 

He knows that he... 
                   Am 
will always be 
              G 
A rock 'n' roll nerd 
                     C                      C/E 
He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear, 
            Am            C 
And though it sounds absurd 
            Dm            Em 
He'll just keep writing, oh yeah, yeah, yeah 
            Dm            Em 
You can not like him and he won't care, care, care 
                  F                 C/E      D  
'Cause he wants to rock, and he will never be deterred,  
      F/G                                                      C  
He'll always be a fucked-up little tryhard wannabe rock'n'roll nerd.   


		  

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