Written by Shel Silverstein
E I'm all strung-out, and, my money's spent A Can't really tell ya' where last year went D But, I've given up paying my bills for Lent G E B My landlord, he says he wants his rent A Fuck 'em! A E Hey, now, the women they come, the women they go A The hens start to cackle when the cock starts to crow A Dm Hell, I take 'em in when the warm winds blow E Em E A But, I boot 'em in the ass once it starts to snow E A Cause, fuuuuuuuuuck them! A F# E Yeah, got a letter from my folks, and, they say they're in debt E A They say that things are as bad as they can possibly get F#m Am Dm Y'know, I haven't answered that letter yet Dm E I might use it to light my cigarette A Cause, fuuuuuuuuuck them! A What'd they ever do for me anyway? E Em E Threw me outta the house when I was twenty-nine years old E And cut off my allowance A Fuck 'em! E E Hey, a woman come around and handed me a line F#m E A About a lot of little orphan kids sufferin' and dyin' D G E Shit, I give her a quarter, cause one of 'em might be mine E Yeah, the rest of those bastards can keep right on cryin' A I mean, fuuuck kids! E Throw up on your shoulder, piss in your lap, Never give you nothing A Fuck 'em! A F#m E I had a fight last night with a big lumberjack E A I spent most the fight laying flat on my back D You know he beat me up fair, and, that's a fact E B E But, I busted his head as soon as he turned his back E A Cause, fuuuuuuuuuck "fair fighting"! E A F E Yeaaaaaah, y'know, my junkie buddy got the shakes again A He give me five bucks in the autumn rain D I'm supposed to bring back something to kill his pain, Dm G E heh, hehAw, shit! I took the bread and I jumped on a train' E A Cause, fuuuuuuuuuck junkies! E Menace to society, break into your house, steal your TV set And go pawn it, and stick up gas stations, A then wanna get rehabilitated right next-door to you A Fuck them! G E Hey, I caught a cold, I'm chilled and wet B And, I'm coughing blood, and I'm short of breath F B And at the foot of my bed sits Old Man Death He says: " Hey Shel, " he says, " ain't you ready to go yet? "And, I says... " You're the Devil's favorite pet! " And, I says..."He's waitin' for ya...And, you're late..."And I says: F A# F F "FUUUUUUUUUCK HIM! LET THE MOTHER WAIT! I GOT THINGS I AIN'T DONE YET, AND BILLS I HAVEN'T NOT PAID! I GOT PEOPLE I AIN'T FUCKED UP, AN' I GOT CHICKS THAT I HAVEN'T KNOCKED UP AND LEFT YET! A# F A# F I'VE GOT things TO DO...PLACES T' GO.... PEOPLE T' DO!HA HA-HA-HA!..." How's that?