Weekend In Amsterdam

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When we got our redundancy, myself and the lads went on the spree   
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A brand new passport in my hand as we took off for The Netherland   
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Myself and Dinny and O?Dwyer and Scut at Schiphol we were all half cut   
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We opened up the duty-free, the red lemonade and brandy   
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And we jumped on board a tram   
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O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam   

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Our first stop was the coffee shop, in we went and we all sparked up   
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Hashish from Pakistan, Morocco, Nepal and the Lebanon   
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All the boys was rollin? joints, they forgot to drink their pints   
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Water pipe came bubblin? around, took one pull and hit the ground   
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Lads wake him if you can   
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O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam   

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Sunday we went to The Blarney Stone, Paddy Wynne had The Leinster Final on   
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The Lily Whites and The Boys in Blue, the Majors and Taytos   
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Over to Mulligan?s for the night, the bar was leppin? and the band was shite   
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De Burgh, De Bono and De Wolfe Tones ?til Dinny grabbed the microphone   
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And gave us Van The Man   
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O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam   

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Macker sez while we?re here we?ll go and have a look at the kinky gear   
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I said a quiet prayer I wouldn?t bump into anyone from Kildare   
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Big dildos, blow-up dolls, snap-on tools and hairy balls   
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Vibrators, whips and chains, zips and fanny ticklers   
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God between us and all harm   
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O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam   

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Then we went for a midnight walk, all our eyes were out on stalks   
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Gay bars, bordellos, models in the windows with no clothes   
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Dinny he danced all night with a South American transvestite   
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Everything was goin? grand until Dinny tried to drop the hand   
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There was pandemonium   
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O The Weekend that we spent an Amsterdam   

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The bouncer she was 5 foot 10 Lowland Heavyweight Champion   
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She hit Dinny an awful box, the boys ran amok and wrecked the shop   
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We could hear the squad cars getting near, it?s time lads we were out of here   
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Dinny pulled up his tights and we disappeared into the night   
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All together now one by one   
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O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam   


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Queen Beatrix she rides her bike, Rembrandt is hangin? down in The Rijk   
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Ajax, Heineken, Van Gogh, The Gargle and The Ghanja   
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Monday morning we were all half cracked we dived into the Kaisergracht   
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They fished us out, hosed us down and put us on the plane to Dublin   
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Home to the Mammy again   
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O The Weekend that we spent in Amsterdam