Intro: (Softly) E E D# D C C D D# E E D# D C C D D# E E D# D C 
1st Verse (All Verses Spoken)
E                                 C           
Well I'm upper-upper class high society,
E                         C           
Gods' gift to ballroom noteriety,
E                                 C           
And my ballrooms always filled - the event is never small,
D                                 B  B    B     B  B
The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all.
Chorus:
All chords stoccato (i.e jab then rest) until last line.
(Refer below for chord riff details)
E (chord riff)           C#m (chord riff)
I've got big balls,      I've got big balls,
They're such big balls, they're dirty big balls,
And he's got big balls, and she's got big balls,
    C     C   C   D  D      A     A  A    B
But we've got the biggest - balls of them all.
E                                 C
And my ballrooms always bouncing, and my ballrooms always full,
E                                 C
And everybody comes and comes again.
E                                    C
If your name is one the guest list - no one can take you higher,
D                       B  B  B     B  B
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire.
**Chorus
E                                 C/E
Some balls are held for charity,  and some for fancy dress,
E                                    C/E
But when they're held for pleasure - they're the balls that I like best.
E                              C/E
My balls are always bouncing - from the left and to the right,
D/F#                                    B  B    B  B  B
It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.
**Chorus
Fade out to chants of "Ball-sucker,Ball-sucker" 
(at least that's what the kids said when I was at school)
The chorus has a chord riff like this (stoccato)
The (D) is an optional passing note. 
E   E   E  E (D) C#m C#m C#m   C#m (D)  (Repeat)       
Played ala:
  E    E    E   E  (D)  C#m