Slim Chance & The Can't Hardly Playboys

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Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon 
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They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon 
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They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu 
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Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you 
 
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Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels 
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Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal 
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They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA 
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If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid 
 
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No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had 
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No matter how they picked 'em, everything they played was bad 
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Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head 
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Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead 
 
 
SOLO 
 
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Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal 
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She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow 
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You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk 
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We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that? 
 
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Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar 
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Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar 
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All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are 
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Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star 
 
 
SPOKEN: 
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Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one 
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I say I ain't but a star I are 
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Do they not know who we think we are? 
                                         
I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin! 
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I think we need some of them whores dejours 
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And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage 
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We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good) 
 
 
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INTRO