Hedley Verityesque

	  		(intro A D E A, A D E 
A                   D   E             A 
Found a nice little cove where nobody else goes 
                       D 
Took a trip 'round the Caves of Drach 
               E 
And said 'It's good to explore the more cultural aspects'. 
A            D     E                A 
Hedley Verityesque, she passed into folklore 
                         D 
Trod on the lines in the pavement 
                     E 
And said 'There's no room for enigmas in built-up areas'. 
C                        Am 
Sweats who think they're hard, sweats who think they're hard 
   C              Am 
My head no end do in, head no end do in 
Dm                 Am   Dm          Am 
Brakes fail in the rain down memory lane 
Dm                               E 
Come re-live my paper round with me. 
A                   D                     E              A 
And I don't see any more, I don't see any more pent up Alsatians 
                         D 
They used to wait by the door 
              E 
And say 'It's nice to know you're here, it's nice to know you're here'. 
A                    D                      E                 A 
And I don't want any more, I don't want any more stark German film noirs 
                        D 
And I could well do without 
    E                                                 C Am C Am 
The handclapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters. 
Dm             Am    Dm               Am 
You were in my hall, now you're on my wall 
Dm                         E              A      D E A, D E 
Peter Sarstedt, Mister Irony - get in the hole. 
C              Am 
In some warm lagoon, in some warm lagoon 
     C              Am 
I'll be with Ayshea soon, be with Ayshea soon 
Dm                 Am   Dm          Am 
Brakes fail in the rain down memory lane 
Dm                               E 
Come re-live my paper round with me. 
A                   D                     E              A 
And I don't see any more, I don't see any more big mad Alsatians 
                         D 
They used to wait by the door 
               E 
And sing 'It's nice to know you're here, it's nice to know you're here'. 
A                    D                      E                 A 
And I don't need any more, I don't need any more stark German film noirs 
                        D 
And I could well do without 
    E 
The handclapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters 

When all of the audience try to convince themselves 

That what they're doing is silly but acceptable 
                                    E7     A 
And the only thing I can say is 'Oh Kip Keino'.