Intro
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B7 B7/F# B7 B7/F# E
verse 1
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You be pissing in a bottle and you can’t see through the fog
E
You know a trucker jack-knifed in the snow up ahead, for sure
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The radar’s got you clocked at 87 in a 55
E
The cops all want to search your car because they think you’re high
A
You finally reach the club and they got no posters up
E
You play to 12 people, half are puking in a cup
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You sell 2 CDs, give another 6 away
E F#m Gsus2 Ab
You hoping that somebody has a place where you could stay
verse 2
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Got a 10 hour drive in the morning, don’t sweat it
E
You’re thinking about the gig last night, you wish you could forget it
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You listen to a podcast of Radio lab
E
You try to call your mom but end up yelling at your dad
A
The car needs gas so you pull into the Come and Go
E
The weather channel says that you’re about to hit some snow
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You sell 5 CDs, give another 8 away
E F#m Gsus2 Ab
To add insult to injury, you had to pay to play
verse 3
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The club owner said 'you should’ve played here last week
E
cause right now its finals and no one makes a peep'
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He wishes that the money could’ve been a lot more
E
But the deal was for a small percentage of the door
A
27 dollars and a couple foreign bills
E
tried to pass the hat but everyone was high on pills
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Play a new song, No applause, just crickets
E F#m Gsus2 Ab
The bartender says 'I’ll give you 2 drink tickets'
verse 4
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You get a big break and get to do some radio
E
But the DJ says 'It’s taped for next week’s show'
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It does you no good cause tonight you got the gig
E
But you keep on smiling and dance a little jig
A
The car starts whining and the engines running hot
E
The gas station dude says 'your radiator’s shot'
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You sell 12 CDs, give none away
E F#m Gsus2 Ab
The radiator took it all, it’s Ground Hog day
Verse 5
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You get a good offer, for a gig in Atlanta
E
But the airline sent your guitar all the way to Montana
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Get a real person on the phone from United
E
You lose you cool and tell the dude to go bite it
A
You borrow a guitar to try to cool your rage
E
Walk into the club and someone else is on stage
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You sell no CDs, the club was double booked
N.C.
You never even got to play, you feel your life is overlooked
Verse 6
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You finally get some sleep and there’s a nice blue sky
E
And the airlines found your guitar all the way in Dubai
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They say that it will be there for your gig in Tallahassee
E
But you ate some bad food, feeling kind of gassy
A
Get a Motel 6, wish it was the Ritz
E
At least you got a private place because you got the shits
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Sell 5 hats and 2 CDs
E F#m Gsus2 Ab
Yes sir, no ma’am, Thank you please
Verse 7
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Your manager calls you right before you play your show
E
He says I think you should die your hair cause its white as snow
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Your girlfriend calls you as you leave the stage
E
She saw a picture of you with a chick and now she’s in a rage
A
Break up break down break it all to hell
E
Charging all the damage to your hotel bill
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Sell 5 stickers for 50 cents
E F#m Gsus2 Ab
you’re a folksinger now, you’re about to make a dent
Verse 8
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Finally get some good news from the booking agent dude
E
At the club tonight they’ll give you half off your food
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Place is packed gonna make your fee
E
But they wouldn’t even turn off the Sports TV
A
You feel like you climbed another rung on the ladder
E
You’re another day older, another day fatter
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I’m a folk singer now in the pale moonlight
N.C.
That's how I'm standing right here on stage tonight
Outro
A
N.C.
I’m a folk-a-dee–folker
N.C.
I’m a Bram Stoker Joker
N.C
I’m a vampire smoker
N.C
I’m a mother folking folker
E
today
A
You’re a folksinger, Folk folk singer
E
You’re a washed up punk, still a dead ringer
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for a folksinger, you’re a folk folk singer
E
For sure 
verse 3
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The club owner said 'you should’ve played here last week
E
cause right now its finals and no one makes a peep'
B7 B7/F# B7 B7/F#
He wishes that the money could’ve been a lot more
E
But the deal was for a small percentage of the door
A
27 dollars and a couple foreign bills
E
tried to pass the hat but everyone was high on pills
B7 B7/F# B7 B7/F#
Play a new song, No applause, just crickets
E F#m Gsus2 Ab
The bartender says 'I’ll give you 2 drink tickets'
Full
key step up
Half
key step up
Half
key step down
Full
key step down
