Xmas Has Been Xed

        C            Dm               G 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 
B|--------------5~~--------------3~~----------3~~-6~~-----| 
G|---------------------------2~~----------4~~-------------| 
D|----------5~~------0~~-3~~----------5~~-----------------| 
A|-3~~~-3~~-----------------------------------------------| 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 


   C5            D5            G/F    F/E      C5 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 
B|--------------------------------------------------------| 
G|--------------------------------------------------------| 
D|-5-5-5-5-5-5---7-7-7-7-7-7---12-12--10-10----5-5-5-5----| 
A|-3-3-3-3-3-3---5-5-5-5-5-5---8--8---7--7-----3-3-3-3----| 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 

   C5            D5            G/F    F/E      C5 
E|--------------------------------------------------------| 
B|--------------------------------------------------------| 
G|--------------------------------------------------------| 
D|-5-5-5-5-5-5---7-7-7-7-7-7---12-12--10-10----5-5-5-5----| 
A|-3-3-3-3-3-3---5-5-5-5-5-5---8--8---7--7-----3-3-3-3----| 
E|--------------------------------------------------------|  


C5                                D5 
It's funny how some fables became historic 
G5                                        A5 
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric 
F5                                       C5 
But people will believe anything if it's written 
D5                               G5 
Especially in stone or ancient scroll 

C5                     D5 
December 25th has been blacklisted 
G5                                        Am 
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed 
C5                                F5 
It was the last thing anyone ever expected 
G5 
Xmas has been X'd 

 
           C5                   F5 
No colored lights, no shopping sprees 
        G5                  C5    G/B 
No more presents under dead trees 
            Am                F5 
St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve 
       G5                       C5 
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve 


C5                         D5 
Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic 
G5                              A5 
Protestants increasingly become agnostic 
F5                               C5 
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams 
D5                                   G5 
Priests and Nuns are molesting each other 

C5                                   D5 
Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist 
G5                            Am 
Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist 
C5                                 F5 
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew 
    G5 
Cuz Easter's canceled too 


            C5               F5 
No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass 
            G5                     C5   
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash 
     G/B      Am                   F5 
They canceled lent and slowed down fast 
      G5                      C5 
Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last 

            F5 
No shopping sprees (don't worry son) 
        G5                                           
No more presents (we don't need Christ)  
           C5 
under dead trees (we got eight nights) 
    G/B     Am                                  
St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah)  
             F5 
but we don't grieve (they won't cancel) 
       G5                                     C5 
We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve