The Drunk Scotsman

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Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair 
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And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his 
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 share 
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He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet 
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Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street 
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh 
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He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street 

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About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by 
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And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye 
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See young sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built 
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I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt 
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh 
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I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt 

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They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be 
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Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see 
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And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt 
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Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth 
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh 
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Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth 

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They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone 
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Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along 
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As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow 
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Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show 
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh 
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Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show 

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Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees 
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Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees 
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And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes 
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O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize 
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh 
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O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize