Intro: C C7 Fsus2 G7sus-G7 (2x) C C7 Sid vicious played a four-string fender bass guitar and couldn't sing Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him C C7 A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen C C7 If only sid had had a ukulele, maybe he would have been happy Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end C C7 He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 He maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend C C7 So play your favourite cover song, especially if the words are wrong Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 'Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing! C C7 Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele Fsus2 G7 Ukulele small and fierceful, Ukulele brave and peaceful C Fsus2 You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple Fsus2 G7 Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly Bb6 Ukulele banish evil ukulele save the people ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple C C7 Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle C C7 If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Had lost the plot completely see what happens when you muzzle C C7 A person's creativity and do not let them sing and scream Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 And nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns C C7 It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 About the same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb? YOU DO THE MATH C C7 So play your favourite cover song, especially if the words are wrong Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 'Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing C C7 Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 And bring your flask of Jack to work and play your ukulele Fsus2 G7 Ukulele, thing of wonder ukulele, ukulele wand of thunder C Fsus2 You can play the ukulele too, in London and down under Fsus2 G7 Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and neutral milk ho- Bb6 tel the children crush the hatred play your ukulele naked and if anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it C G7 Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment C C7 Now imagine if john lennon had composed "imagine" on the ukulele Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Maybe people would have truly got the message C C7 You may think my approach is simple-minded and naïve Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Like if you want to want the world then why not quit and feed the hungry? C C7 But people for millennia have needed music to survive Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 And that's why i've promised john that i will not feel guilty C C7 So play your favourite Beatles' song and make the subway fall in love Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 They're only $19.95, that isn't lots of money C C7 Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Play LCD sound system songs on your ukulele C C7 Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily C C7 You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Holy fuck! it's so fantastic, playing ukulele C C7 Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark Fsus2 And bring your etch-a-sketch to work, your flask of jack, your vibrator, your fear of heights, your Nikon lens? C C7 Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from "karate kid" Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Your ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD C C7 Your favourite room, your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye Fsus2 G7sus4 G7 Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your nick drake tapes, your giving tree C C7 Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry Fsus2 C Remember we're all going to die? so play your ukulele!