Maybe Man

E                                    G# 
Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel 
                                      C#m 
You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal 
                                       A 
But I'd miss the way we make up and smile 
                    Am               E 
Don't want to be stone, changed my mind 


 

                                    G# 
I wish  had eyes in the back of my head 
                                  C#m 
Then I could see the places I've been 
                                           A 
But then I would know that you're talkin' shit 
                 Am                    E 
I don't want to know what my friends think 



                                G# 
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn 
                                    C#m 
I'd be so glad when I hear you come home 
                                        A 
But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long 
                  Am               E 
I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone 



                                 G# 
I wish I could act in a show on TV 
                                      C#m 
'Cause then I could practice not bein' me 
                                       A 
I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel 
                  Am                     E 
But you won't believe me when I cry for real 



                                      G# 
I wish that my brain would triple in size 
                                     C#m 
I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight 
                                        A 
But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind 
               Am                 E 
I don't wanna know the point of life 



                                G# 
In some other life I would be rich 
                                    C#m 
I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill 
                                       A 
But couldn't complain 'bout anything small 
              Am             E 
Nobody'd feel bad for me at all 

 

                                  G# 
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack 
                          C#m 
I'd get invited to every frat 
                                               A 
But when you get old and your good days have passed 
                 Am              E 
You'll only want me when you're sad 



                                  G# 
Wish I was a song, your favourite one 
                                     C#m 
You'd follow the dance to me at your prom 
                                     A 
I would be there when your baby is born 
                  Am                E 
For two or three minutes, then I'm gone 

 

                                 G# 
I wish I was big, as big as my house 
                                        C#m 
I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd 
                                       A 
But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch 
              Am             E 
God, I could really use him now 


                                  G# 
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up 
                                C#m 
And if I did, well, so fuckin' what? 
                                      A 
I could be cruel and break all your stuff 
              Am              E 
Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what 

                                    G# 
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird 
                                       C#m 
'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear 
                                          A 
And then you would die, you'd love me to death 
          Am                E 
I never know who the hell I am 



E                             G# 
I wish I was me, whoever that is 
                                C#m 
I could just be and not give a shit 
                                   A 
Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan 
                    Am 
'Cause I don't know who the hell I am 
                                  E 
(Am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-amâ) 

 

                     E   G#    C#m 
One, two, pandemonium! 
A                    E    G# 
One, two, pandemonium! 
              C#m 
Here I go again 
A                    E    G# 
One, two, pandemonium! 
              C#m 
Here I go again 
                     E   G#    C#m 
One, two, pandemonium! 
A 
One, two
             E 
Here I go again