The Whatsapp Shakespeare

 
Am 
Once upon a time there was a (Girl) 
Girl and there was a serpent (Serpent) 
Oh, and her name was Eve (Eve) 
And she took a bite from the apple (Apple) 
         Dm 
And the story ain't this dissimilar 
Many, many, many, many moons later 
She'd be deceived by her very own traitor 
And he weren't even my type on paper 
           Am 
Such sweet poetry he would write 
The WhatsApp Shakespeare killer, we call him 
Lies just to climb into your bedroom door 
Now you're fighting for your life on your bedroom floor 
              Dm 
And then, oh, devil did send him 
Heart of blue, black venom 
My mother knew when she met him 
Wolf in sheep's clothes, oh, but in this case, denim 
Uh, cold blood felon 
 

 
Am 
Oh, how mother would then mourn the ghost of her daughter 
As he lured me in like a lamb to the slaughter? 
Dm 
Yeah, yeah, sounds very dramatic, don't it? 
A modern day tragedy, I call it 
It's a true story, it happened 
 

 
            Am 
Oh, how he'd romance, on me, on me, on me 
Fmaj7           Em7 
   He'd WhatsApp  call me, call me with a 
Dm                    N.C. 
  Wherefore art thou, true love? 
            Am 
He strikes again, oh, he's a cursive kisser 
Am 
 He romance, on me, on me, on me 
                                        Dm 
Romeo, oh no, I was a fool to love you, damn 
Juliet must run, Juliet must vanish 
Damn it, cut him off, savage, he must be banished 
The WhatsApp Shakespeare killer 
Am 
 

 
N.C.         Am 
I was still breathing, baby, just barely (Barely) 
Grandma had to bring her Bible (Bible) 
Sister wanna hunt him down 
But only Jesus can save him now 
               Dm 
Like-like-like Lazarus, I did rise 
What a miracle she could survive 
Lost her accent in the dead of the night 
When the light in her eyes left with her 
N.C. 
Hold sis earrings, go get him 
 

 
Am 
Oh, mother would then mourn the ghost of her daughter 
As he lead me in like a lamb to the slaughter 
Dm 
Yeah, yeah, sounds very dramatic, don't it? 
A modern-day tragedy, I call it 
Not with thy flesh, but with thy words, he would 
 

 
Am 
 Romance (Romance), on me, on me, on me 
Fmaj7          Em7 
  He'd WhatsApp  call me, call me with a 
Dm                    N.C. 
  Wherefore are thou, true love? 
            Am 
He strikes again, oh, he's a cursive kisser 
Am 
  He romance, on me, on me, on me 
                                        Dm 
Romeo, oh no, I was a fool to love you, damn 
Juliet must run, Juliet must vanish 
Damn it, cut him off, savage, he must be banished 
The WhatsApp Shakespeare killer 
 

Outro 
Am 
Run, Juliet, run, Juliet, run 
Silence all notifications 
                              N.C. 
Forward this text to at least ten people, please 
Dm 
Thy words I plead from thy tongue 
His weapons of mass seduction 
My midsummer night nightmare 
Don't end up like me 


{Segue} 
           Am 
He's still out there, Romeo Fraud 
       Em                                      Fmaj7 
He's a 6'2" sick mother, five months minimum recovery 
                                Em7 
From a sweet lie to the all-out Shakespearean voice-notary 
                    Am 
Though I'd love to clarify 
No one did die in the story 
But I didn't side when I found out 


{Part II} 


Intro 
             N.C. 
I was one of seven of the leading ladies 
Starring in the new romantic thriller 


 
 Am    Bm7              E7 
Presenting the WhatsApp Shakespeare Killer 
 Am                         Bm7    E7 Am7 
Ooh, he's a cursive kisser (Romeo Fraud) 
     Dm         F7 
He'd WhatsApp call me (Call me, call me with the, wow) 
Em         Am7        Dm7    E7 
  Wherefore   art thou, true love? Oh 
N.C.        Dm    G 
(He would romance) 
                          C                Em7 Am 
Where once I lived in  the palm of his hand 
           Dm                      F7 
And at the time, how could I understand? 
           N.C. 
Why now, I ask you to forward this message or face seven months' sadness 
           Am 
You better run 
Stick it to the man 
You better run while you can 
'Fact, your Uber's outside 
Must learn the art of airtime 
You never must reply 
You must escape the clutches of this Fake Prince Charming, a.k.a 
                          Gm                Am 
The Whatsapp Shakespeare, darling, dun-dun, dun-dun-dun