Todd Yohn

Feminine Hygiene

Todd Yohn

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Feminine Hygiene


I was watch?n TV with my buddy Stevie, 
 when I saw the strangest thing. 
It was so compelling a woman selling 
A                              E 
 Maxi Pads that had wings. 
I turned to channel three and what did I see,  
a woman who looked real rich. 
She was liv?in on a hill and pitch?n Vagisil 
A                                      E 
 for the special feminine itch. 
So I tried once more and I turned to channel four,  
I was shocked I must confess. 
     F#m                               D                                                                       
A gal who was chunky said when she?s smell?n funky  
              A                    E 
she just squirts it with FDS. 
                    D                              E                                                                                                                                                                                         
Well it?s on every station it?s plug?n up the nation 
         A                          D 
 with feminine hygiene ads. 
D                                           E                                      
Douches and ointments and OBG appointments 
        A                                   D 
 and don?t forget your Maxi Pads. 
                            Bm         E                        
Cause they have wings to fly, 
 Bm               E                          A 
 lets give it a try, for feminine hygiene. 
Well a mama and daughter walk?in by the water 
 somebody don?t feel fresh. 
Monistat Seven put her back in heaven 
                 A                              E 
 cause the yeast really makes a mess. 
A middle aged debutant look?n for a lubricant, 
 they still can hear her voice. 
 Her mama done told her when a woman gets older 
      A                            E 
 the muffin downstairs don?t stay moist. 
                D                            E                                                    
Well it?s on every station an over saturation 
      A                          D 
 of feminine hygiene games. 
D                                    E                                                        
Creams and lotions and all her emotions 
         A                       D 
 and all the water she retains. 
            Bm            E                                                               
It?s so insane this game,       
Bm                      E                             A 
 there?s to many names for feminine hygiene. 
A  Bm  C#m   D                 E                           
                       Why do we have to view, 
A                    F#m 
 all that stuff girls go thru. 
D              E                        A                                             
It?s really got my stomach reeling 
A Bm C#m   D                      E                                                                     
                     Lets give those ads we see 
  A           F#m       
  a hysterectomy 
          D                                   E 
 or at least, make them more appealing.  
                    D                             E                          
Cause there on every station an over saturation 
     A                          D 
 of feminine hygiene ads. 
D                                         E                                
Douches and ointments an OBG appointments, 
 Creams and lotions and all her emotions. 
Summers Eve and Massengill 
 and if you itch use Vagisil 
Kotex, Tampax, Gynecort and Yeast-X, 
D                               E 
 Norforms, Pamprin, Feminique an Replens 
Motrin and Midol for when your suicidal, 
D                                 E 
 Monistat, Femstat, a plug for this a pad for that 
A                               D 
The list goes on and on. 
             Bm         E    
It?s so insane to me 
Bm             E 
 it?s on my TV  
Feminine Hygiene 
A      A/G#   F#m 
Oh!    Oh!     Oh!  
D                E                         A 
It?s on my TV it?s Feminine Hygiene 
A  E  A 


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See also:

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