I Farted On Santa's Lap

	  		


(verse 1) 

G 
Mom made beans for dinner 
C           
You know I ate 'em all 
G                                D 
She said come get your coat on, we're goin' to the mall 
G                     C             
Gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee 
D                                C                  G    
But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese 

G                              C               
While waiting there for Santa, I thought that I'd explode 
G                               D 
The gas bubble grew bigger with every "Ho, Ho, Ho" 
G                         C 
Tried my best to hide it, thought I was doing swell 
D                                               N/C 
But when I sat down on Santa's lap, he hollered "What's that smell!" 



     G           C            G                            D 
     I farted on Santa's lap, now Christmas is gonna stink for me 
     G           C                          D              C         G       
     I farted on Santa's lap, now I'll get *fart* under my Christmas tree 


(verse 2) 
G                           
I asked him for a baseball 
C 
I asked him for a bat 
G                                   D 
I asked him for some ice skates but I'll get none of that 
G                               C 
I asked him for a lot of things I'll have to do without 
D                                       G   D    G 
'Cause when I sat on Santa's lap, I let one slip out 


(Back to Chorus) 


(verse 3) 

E                                  A 
On Christmas Eve I snuck out of my bed without a sound 
E                                 B 
Went down to the living room just to take a look around 
E                                 A 
It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree 
B                                 B          E 
His arms were full of presents and they were all for me 

E                             A 
He put them on a pile and got up to turn around 
E                             B 
And blew a fart with such great force our tree almost came down 
E                             A 
And so I'll always cherish that special moment when 
B                             A E 
I realized even old Saint Nick rips one now and then 


     E           A               E                          B 
     I farted on Santa's lap and Christmas didn't stink for me 
     E           A                      B             A         E 
     I farted on Santa's lap and Santa left one on my Christmas tree