The Loophole

	  		


D                        G 
All my life I've been good 
D                                       A 
Do what my mom and dad and God say I should 
  
D                         G 
Go to church and Bible School 
A                   D 
To live by God's rule 
  
Bm 
So whatever people tell me 
Bm                   A 
That The Bible tells me 
D 
I will do 
  

D                                   G 
Walk the halls at my school with my purity ring 
Bm                                  E 
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check 
D                          G 
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend 
Bm                             E 
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck 
  
D             G 
And I made a pact 
D             G 
To keep my hymen intact 
G                    A 
And Jesus and I are tight 
  
D                        G 
Never learned about the birds and the bees 
Bm                                    E 
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees 
D                                       G 
'Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong 
Bm                             E 
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long 
  
G                   D 
I don't want to lose him 
G                   D 
To someone who'll do him 
G                           A 
I need to figure something out 
  

D                                               G 
Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well 
         Bm                    E  
So I can get him off without going to hell 
D                   G 
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace 
       Bm                         E  
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base! 

Bm                          E  
Oh thank you for making me holy 
Bm                                  E 
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from 
G                            A 
And since I'm not a godless whore 
G                                A 
He'll have to come in the back door 
Therefore 

  

D                                G 
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus 
Bm                           G      A 
The good Lord would want it that way 
D               E             G           E 
Get that sweet sensation a throbbing rationalization 


G                        A  
It's just between you and me 
G                               A                D 
'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see 
  
D                  G  
It's hard to be as pure as me 
Bm                            A 
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity 
D                   G 
To wait until my marriage bed 
Bm                             A 
To give my husband my unsullied maiden head 


G             D  
So take your cock out 
G            D 
Shove it in my ass 
G            A 
Fuck me until you come 
  
        G                    D 
Oops! I mean let's join our souls 
G                D 
And unite our bodies 
G                         A 
And fly with the wings of God 


D                                   G 
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris 
Bm                                         A 
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this 


D                                 G 
And no prophylactics when you put it in 
Bm                                        E 
'Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin 


G                D 
I've emptied my bowels 
G                 D 
And laid out the towels 
G               A 
I'm ready for romance 


D                               G 
Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest 
Bm                                 A 
But of all of my holes, this ones the driest 
  

D                           G 
And we can't procreate if we anal copulate 
Bm                              E 
And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight 


G                     D 
And I'm staying pure, no matter what 
G                      A 
So I'm OK with everything butt 
Everything butt 
Everything butt 
Whoa-oh 
  
 
D                        G 
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus 
Bm                           G   A 
The good Lord would want it that way 
D              E             G        E 
Get that sweet sensation a rock hard rationalization 
 


G                       A  
It's just between you and me 
G                              A                  D 
'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see 
  
Bm                       E 
I do whatever The Bible tells me to 
Bm                             A 
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore 
Bm                             A 
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient 
Bm                      E 
But the rest I live by for sure 
  

G                                                   A          
So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce 
G                                           A 
And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don't happen of course 
E                                                       G  
Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and (line up for ambiguities as omissions?) 
 A                             Bm 
And circumvent any real sacrifice, and still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted  
E 
positions 

D                  A                Bm  
And don't you dare question my convictions 
E                                   G 
And don't look closely at the contradictions 
D                     A                   Bm 
And just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion 
E                                     G 
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction 

E 
As the only way to measure if you're good or not 
And when you're in a debate, just say to ?have faith? 
                                                                                                A 
Because when you're up against logic it's the only card you've got 
  
G 
So close your eyes 
A 
Take a deep breath 
And.. 
  

D                      G 
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus 
Bm                         G      A 
The good Lord would want it that way 
D             E             G           E 
Get that sweet sensation an irrational rationalization 


G                      A  
It's just between you and me 
G                 A                            E 
'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see 
G                        A 
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks 
G                  A                        D 
So sometimes you need to think outside the box