Garfunkel And Oates

The Loophole Keyboard

Garfunkel And Oates

Difficulty: EasyEasy

by hugo%5Frodrigues

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The Loophole

  		


D                        G 
All my life I've been good 
D                                       A 
Do what my mom and dad and God say I should 
  
D                         G 
Go to church and Bible School 
A                   D 
To live by God's rule 
  
Bm 
So whatever people tell me 
Bm                   A 
That The Bible tells me 
D 
I will do 
  

D                                   G 
Walk the halls at my school with my purity ring 
Bm                                  E 
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check 
D                          G 
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend 
Bm                             E 
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck 
  
D             G 
And I made a pact 
D             G 
To keep my hymen intact 
G                    A 
And Jesus and I are tight 
  
D                        G 
Never learned about the birds and the bees 
Bm                                    E 
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees 
D                                       G 
'Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong 
Bm                             E 
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long 
  
G                   D 
I don't want to lose him 
G                   D 
To someone who'll do him 
G                           A 
I need to figure something out 
  

D                                               G 
Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well 
         Bm                    E  
So I can get him off without going to hell 
D                   G 
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace 
       Bm                         E  
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base! 

Bm                          E  
Oh thank you for making me holy 
Bm                                  E 
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from 
G                            A 
And since I'm not a godless whore 
G                                A 
He'll have to come in the back door 
Therefore 

  
tabchorus
D G Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus Bm G A The good Lord would want it that way D E G E Get that sweet sensation a throbbing rationalization
tab
G A It's just between you and me G A D 'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see D G It's hard to be as pure as me Bm A To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity D G To wait until my marriage bed Bm A To give my husband my unsullied maiden head G D So take your cock out G D Shove it in my ass G A Fuck me until you come G D Oops! I mean let's join our souls G D And unite our bodies G A And fly with the wings of God D G Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris Bm A If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this D G And no prophylactics when you put it in Bm E 'Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin G D I've emptied my bowels G D And laid out the towels G A I'm ready for romance D G Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest Bm A But of all of my holes, this ones the driest D G And we can't procreate if we anal copulate Bm E And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight G D And I'm staying pure, no matter what G A So I'm OK with everything butt Everything butt Everything butt Whoa-oh
tabchorus
D G Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus Bm G A The good Lord would want it that way D E G E Get that sweet sensation a rock hard rationalization
tab
G A It's just between you and me G A D 'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see Bm E I do whatever The Bible tells me to Bm A Except for the parts that I choose to ignore Bm A Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient Bm E But the rest I live by for sure G A So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce G A And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don't happen of course E G Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and (line up for ambiguities as omissions?) A Bm And circumvent any real sacrifice, and still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted E positions D A Bm And don't you dare question my convictions E G And don't look closely at the contradictions D A Bm And just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion E G And have faith in its complete jurisdiction E As the only way to measure if you're good or not And when you're in a debate, just say to ?have faith? A Because when you're up against logic it's the only card you've got G So close your eyes A Take a deep breath And..
tabchorus
D G Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus Bm G A The good Lord would want it that way D E G E Get that sweet sensation an irrational rationalization G A It's just between you and me G A E 'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see G A Yeah, my chastity belt has locks G A D So sometimes you need to think outside the box
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