Plastic Paddy

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He's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 
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In a Plastic Paddy pub that they call The Blarney Stone 
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There's plastic shamrocks on the wall, there's Guinness and green beer 
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And a sign in gaelic above the bar which says “God Bless All Here” 

 
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His guitar sounds like a wardrobe, and it's out of tune at that 
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His singin' voice it ranges from A sharp to A flat 
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He's just desecrated “The Holy Ground”, ripped apart “Black Velvet Band” 
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Sang “Seven Nights Drunk” and now he's sunk “The Irish Rover” with all hands 


D                                         G             D 
'Cause he's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 
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In a Plastic Paddy pub that they call The Blarney Stone 
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There's Aer Lingus posters everywhere showing pretty Irish scenes 
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All peaceful and idyllic, and very bloody green! 


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He's done awful things to “Molly Malone” and “The Fair Rose of Tralee” 
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He's murdered “Carrickfergus” and poor old “Mother Machree” 
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He's just thrashed his way through “Galway Bay” and “The Wild Irish Rose” 
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And if he starts singing “Danny Boy”, I'm gonna punch him in the nose! 


D G D   D G A 
D G D   D G A 


D                                      G            D 
"When Irish Eyes are Smiling" and “The Mountains of Mourne” 
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In his search for Celtic chiché, he has left no stone unturned 
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'Til he embarks upon “The Harp That Once Through Tara’s Halls” 
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Accompanying himself on the Bodhrán, which takes a lot of - courage 


D                                         G             D 
'Cause he's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 
D                                G                A 
In a Plastic Paddy pub that they call The Blarney Stone 
D                                            G             D 
Now he's just sung in his mother tongue, the ancient Irish Erse 
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And cleared the pub completely by the forty-second verse! 


D                                         G             D 
'Cause he's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 
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He's started singin' “Danny Boy”, so it's time that I was gone 
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And just one thought comes to my mind, as I stagger through the door 
D                     G                 D 
Where are you when we need you, Christy Moore? 

Outro:
D                     G                 D       A D 
Where are you when we need you, Christy Moore?