Roy Zimmerman

To Be A Liberal

Roy Zimmerman

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To Be A Liberal

	  		Verse 
E 
On my way in here tonight 
             G#m              A 
I bruised my nose hugging a tree. 
       F#m                                            Dmaj7 
I was late ?cause I had to stop by on my way in San Quentin 
                     E 
to set a criminal free. 
G#m                                                                                  G# 
And I ran out on seven-grain bee-pollen macrobiotic organic sustainable medical marijuana 
              A 
for my jerky knee. 
       E    F#m     G#m 
Do you know how hard it is 
           F#m 
to be a liberal? 
       B 
Well, do ya? 

E                                                    G#m 
I had to learn to speak French, Spanish, Hindi, and dolphin 
                A 
just so I could relate. 
      F#m 
I?m exhausted from taxing and spending, 
and controlling the media, and hiding my agenda, 
                Dmaj7                            E 
and ruling San Francisco as a separatist nation-state. 
       G#m 
And in yoga today, I got bent out of shape 
                                                            G# 
?cause the guy doing bow-pulling pulls in front of me was intolerant 
          A 
which I hate! 
       E    F#m     G#m 
Do you know how hard it is 
           F#m 
to be a liberal? 
       B 
Well, do ya? 

G 
Constantly feeding the hungry 
                  C 
and bleeding my heart 
and exceeding my budget 
               Fmaj7 
and needing approval 
and reading The Nation 
                   A#        D 
and leading a sing-along ? EVERYBODY! 
(No wait, that was just an impulse. Sorry.) 
D   A 

E 
I was shootin? hoops with some brothas 
                          G#m 
when I sprained my ba-donka-donk 
                          A 
and ya know that ain?t chill. 
 F#m 
I saved an endangered snail-darter 
from being eaten by an endangered spotted owl 
 F#m 
which I saved from being eaten by an endangered snow-leopard 
                                      Dmaj7 
which I saved from being shot by a poacher 
              E 
who I had to kill ? (with kindness. It took a while.) 
G#m 
And I hit a speed bump and I spilled my chi-latte all over the hemp-covered seats of my Prius 
and the speed-bump 
turned out to be a homeless Native American 
 F#m 
so I apologized and gave him some land, 
I stomped out his cigarette and took away his gun and shot myself in the nuts on my way to 
                                                                                  G#                   A 
my frivolous lawsuit for sexual harassment where I was suing myself ?cause I masturbated ? against my will! 
       E    F#m  G#m 
Do you know how hard it is 
      F#m 
to be me? 
       E    F#m  G#m 
Do you know how hard it is 
   F#m         A    B 
just to be a knee-jerk liberal? 
              F#m 
What I wouldn?t give 
          A         B           E 
to be a circle-jerk conservative! 
		  

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