If That Ain't Country

David Allan Coe

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If That Ain't Country

Written by David Allan Coe/Fred Spears

Key: D

If That Ain't Country Key AA

If That Ain't Country Key A#A#

If That Ain't Country Key BB

If That Ain't Country Key CC(one step down)

If That Ain't Country Key C#C#(half step down)

If That Ain't Country Key DD(original key)

If That Ain't Country Key D#D#(half step up)

If That Ain't Country Key EE(one step up)

If That Ain't Country Key FF

If That Ain't Country Key F#F#

If That Ain't Country Key GG

If That Ain't Country Key G#G#

D G
THE OLD MAN WAS COVERED WITH TATOOS AND SCARS, HE GOT SOME IN PRISON AND SOME IN THE BARS.
A D
THE REST HE GOT WORKIN' ON OLD JUNK CARS IN THE DAY TIME.
D
THEY LOOKED LIKE TOMBSTONES IN OUR YARD
G A D
AND I NEVER SEEN HIM WHEN HE WASN'T TIRED AND MEAN.

D G
HE SOLD USED PARTS TO MAKE ENDS MEET, COVERED WITH GREASE FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS FEET,
A D
CUSSIN' THE SUN AND THE TEXAS HEAT, AND THE SKEETERS.
D
AND THE NEIGHBORS SAY WE LIVE LIKE HICKS,
G A D
BUT THEY BRING THEIR CARS FOR PA TO FIX ANYHOW.

D G
HE WAS VET'RIN PROUD, TRIED AND TRUE, HE'D FIGHT TILL HIS HEART WAS BLACK AND BLUE,
A D
DIDN'T KNOW HOW HE'D MAKE IT THROUGH, THE HARD TIMES.
D
BOUGHT OUR HOUSE ON THE G.I. BILL,
G A D
BUT IT WASN'T WORTH ALL HE HAD TO KILL TO GET IT.

D G
HE DRANK PEARL IN A CAN AND JACK DANIELS BLACK, CHEWED TOBACCO FROM A MAIL-POUCH SACK,
A D
HAD AN OLD DOG THAT WAS TRAINED TO ATTACK, SOMETIMES.
D
HE'D GET DRUNK AND MEAN AS A RATTLESNAKE,
G A D
AND THERE WASN'T TOO MUCH THAT HE WOULD TAKE, FROM A STRANGER.

G A D G
THERE WAS 13 KIDS AND A BUNCH OF DOGS, HOUSE FULL OF CHICKENS AND A YARD FULL OF HOGS,
A G D
SPENT THE SUMMERTIME CUTTIN' UP LOGS FOR THE WINTER.
G A D G
TRYIN' LIKE THE DEVIL TO FIND THE LORD, AND WORKIN' LIKE A NIGGER FOR MY ROOM AND BOARD,
A D
COAL BURNIN' STOVE, NO NATURAL GAS, AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS.

D G D
IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'LL HAIRLIP THE POPE,
G A D
IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'S A DAMN GOOD JOKE.
G A D G
I'VE SEEN THE GRAND 'OLE OPRY AND I MET JOHNNY CASH,
A D
AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS.

D G
WELL, MOMMA SOLD EGGS AT THE GROCERY STORE, MY OLDEST SISTER WAS A FIRST-RATE WHORE,
A D
DAD SAYS SHE CAN'T COME HOME ANY MORE, AND HE MEANS IT.
D
MA JUST SITS AND KEEPS HER SILENCE
G A D
SISTER SHE LEFT 'CAUSE DAD GOT VIOLENT, AND SHE KNOWS IT.

D G
MOMMA SHE'S OLD, FAR BEYOND HER TIME, FROM CHOPPIN' TOBACCO
A D
AND I SEEN HER CRYIN WHEN BLOOD STARTED FLOWIN' FROM HER CALLOUSED HANDS, AND IT HURT ME.
D
BUT SHE'D JUST KEEP WORKIN' TRYIN' TO HELP THE OLD MAN,
G A D
FROM THE END OF ONE ROW AND BACK AGAIN,LIKE ALWAYS.

D G
SHE'D BEEN THROUGH HELL SINCE JUNIOR WENT TO JAIL, AND WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT SHE AIN'T NEVER FAILED,
A D
TO GET DOWN ON HER KNEES AND PRAY, 'CAUSE SHE LOVES HIM.
D
SHE TOLD ALL THE NEIGHBORS HE WAS OFF IN THE WAR,
G A D
FIGHTIN' FOR FREEDOM, HE'S GOOD TO THE CORE, AND SHE'S PROUD.

D G
OUR PLACE WAS A GRAVEYARD FOR AUTOMOBILES, AT THE END OF THE PORCH WERE 4 STACKS OF WHEELS,
A D
AND TIRES FOR SALE FOR A DOLLAR OR TWO, CASH.

G A
THERE WERE 50 HOLES IN THAT OLD TIN ROOF.
D G
ME AND MY FAMILY WAS LIVIN' PROOF,
A
OF PEOPLE WHO FORGOT ABOUT POOR WHITE TRASH
D
AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY I'LL KISS YOUR ASS.

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