The Perfect Woman

	  		


Intro 
G D Em C 
G D C G 

G             D 
She was the perfect woman 
Em                C 
In every single way 
G              D 
She made the sun shine brighter 
C                      G      G 
And all my cares go away 

G             D 
She was the perfect woman 
Em                   C 
She was a gourmet chef 
G               D 
They say that love is blind 
C                  G        G 
Well, it's also deaf 

                          D 
Cuz Helen Keller was the perfect woman 
Em                C 
And no one understands 
G          D 
Just how talented 
C                  G 
She was with her hands (Uhhhh) 

G                 D 
God made her the perfect woman 
Em                    C 
I was the finishing touch 
G             D 
She was the perfect woman 
C                   G 
She didn't talk so much 

G              D 
She wanted to name the kids 
Em             C 
So I finally let her 
G               D 
It turned out horribly 
C                     G             
Chewbacca coulda done better (Chewbacca noise) 

G                  D 
But I guess it was alright 
Em                   C 
We had a boy and a girl 
G             D 
Just me and Helen 
C        G 
HARHAR and Earl 
^ 
(Nasal sound) 

G                       D 
Cuz Helen Keller was a miracle worker 
Em                C 
I was her one man show 
G             D 
I could walk around the house naked 
C                    G 
She wouldn't even know 

G                    D 
Helen Keller was my perfect woman 
Em               C 
I was her only need 
G                     D 
She didn't mind the zits on my ass 
C                     G 
It gave her more to read 

G                     C 
Gave her more to read 
                       Em  
It gave her more to read 
                      D  
It gave her more to read                   
  (let D ring)              G 
It gave her more to read  
G                    C 
Gave her more to read               
                        Em   
It gave her more to read    
             D 
More to read 
(let D ring)      G 
More to read            

G         C 
Read poison ivy 
        Em 
She read acne 
            D 
She read herpes 
(let D ring)       G 
She read it all 
G            C 
She read goosebumbs 
         Em 
She read blisters 
D               G 
Even read a basketball 

G                    D 
Helen Keller was my perfect woman 
Em                    C 
But I don't think she cared 
G              D 
I played this song for her 
C                        G 
She just sat there and stared 

G                 D 
She was still my perfect woman 
Em               C 
I was sort of a mess 
G               D 
I asked her to marry me 
      C       G 
She said "YEAHAHOEH!" 
           ^ 
       (Throaty sound) 

I'm going to hell