Stan The Man

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Born in nineteen thirty-five in Brooklyn, NY 
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Son of Anna and Phil 
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At nineteen years old he married my mother Judy 
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And immediately paid his first Bloomingdale's bill 

Right away they started on a family 
Three smart kids popped out of mom's tummy 
But then one steamy* night dad forgot to wear his raincoat 
Nine months later out came the dummy 

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But he took care of me 

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Oh, 'Stan the Man' was my hero 
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The coolest guy ever, I swear 
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He stayed up all night making me a clay volcano 
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That's how I won the science fair 

He was 6'2, 200 and 50 lbs. 
And as sweet as he was strong 
He was also known to be pretty well endowed 
But believe me he didn't pass that one along 

His fav'rite singers were Leo Red Bone and Johny Cash 
His favorite ball players were Cold Facts and Micky 
His favorite restaurant was the state's delicatessen 
His favorite movie was 'Little Nicky' 

F 
Sorry 'Godfather I and II' 
Maybe next time 

Yeah, 'Stan the Man' was my hero 
With a golf swing that made me cry 
He'd take their money and put it in his top dresser drawer 
Then I'd steal it so I could get high... 
But he ... beat that habit ... out of me 

So dad, 
Thanks for letting me stay up late to watch Johny Carson 
Thanks for coaching all our games in Livingston Park 
Thanks for telling me to always punch a kid in the face 
If he made an anti-Semitic remark 

Yeah, and don't worry 'bout mom 
We'll always look after her 
Me, Scott, Val, Liz, and the grandkids 
And when Jacky and I have children of our own 
We'll try to raise them just the way you did 

So say 'hi' to both my grandmas and grandpas 
Tell my dog, Meatball, I miss him so 
But most important, take advantage of being in heaven 
And go bang Marylin Monroe 
Mom said it's cool ... just wear a raincoat 

Oh, 'Stan the Man' was my hero 
Still is and always will be 
'Cause he didn't give too much crap about nothin' 
Except loving his family 

Well 'Stan the Man' is gone* 
But will always live on*