(intro)  Dm 

Dm         Am 
I judge by what she's wearing 
C             G 
Just how many heads I'm tearing 
Dm              Am 
Off of assholes coming on to her 
C                G 
Each night seems like it's getting worse 
Dm               Am 
And I wish she'd take the night off 
C          G 
So I don't have to fight off 
Dm            Am 
Every asshole coming on to her 
C          G 
It happens every night she works 
Dm             Am 
They'll go and ask the DJ 
C             G 
Find out just what would she say 
Dm                Am 
If they all tried coming on to her 
C                    G 
Don't they know it's never going to work 
Dm                 Am 
They think they'll get inside her 
C                G 
With every drink they buy her 
Dm              Am 
As they all try coming on to her 
C             G 
This time somebody's getting hurt 

C              Am 
Here comes the next contestant 

Dm      Am        C     G 
Is that your hand on my girlfriend? 
Dm      Am        C     G 
Is that your hand? 
Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C              G 
I'll watch you leave here limping 
Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C              G 
I'll watch you leave here limping 
C              Am              (Dm) 
There goes the next contestant 

Dm     Am 
I even fear the ladies 
C                G 
They're cool but twice as crazy 
Dm              Am 
Just as bad for coming on to her 
C                    G 
Don't they know it's never going to work 
Dm            Am 
Each time she bats an eyelash 
C          G 
Somebody's grabbing her ass 
Dm             Am 
Everyone keeps coming on to her 
C             G 
This time somebody's getting hurt 
C              Am 
Here comes the next contestant 

Dm      Am        C     G 
Is that your hand on my girlfriend? 
Dm      Am        C     G 
Is that your hand? 
Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C              G 
I'll watch you leave here limping 
Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C              G 
I'll watch you leave here limping 
C              Am              (Dm) 
There goes the next contestant 

Dm         Am 
I'm hating what she's wearing 
C         G 
Everybody here keeps staring 
Dm                   Am 
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve 
C             G 
This time somebody's getting hurt 
C              Am 
Here comes the next contestant 

Dm      Am        C     G 
Is that your hand on my girlfriend? 
Dm      Am        C     G 
Is that your hand? 
Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C              G 
I'll watch you leave here limping 
Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C              G 
I'll watch you leave here limping 
C              Am              (Dm) 
There goes the next contestant 

Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C                G 
Each night seems like it's getting worse 
Dm           Am 
I wish you'd do it again 
C             G 
This time somebody's getting hurt 

C              Am                  Dm 
There goes the next contestant